Journey mercies

I remember when I was twelve years old, a group of young people at the age that I am now, walked past me, laughing with each other. And I remember the envy that coursed through me and at that moment, I wanted so much to grow up, to live a life like theirs, carefree and independent. At that moment, life seemed to move as quickly as a snail does.

Now, it looks like I am standing where I had dreamt I would one day be in; the difference: I have come farther than the twelve year old girl ever imagined. It feels like a blink of an eye, and the ten years of my life since then had been fast-forwarded.

Oddly enough, today is a day of goodbyes and tomorrow is a day of new beginnings. In a way, God, who is the Author of my life story, is somewhat dramatic in penning the twist and turns of my life. Today is not just the last day of 2004 and tomorrow the beginning of 2005, but today is the last day of an age, and tomorrow the beginning of another.

As every child does, I had my dreams of who I would become one day. I wanted to dance on clouds, I wanted to capture rainbows and I wanted to bow before an audience with a tiara of diamonds on my head. But as every child must do one day, I grew up.

Today, it seems that the time has come for me to keep my dancing shoes away and for me to don my walking shoes for I no longer desire to flit from place to place, but to focus on walking the road I have been placed on. It is the time for me to let the rainbows be where they are, for at the end of it, I may find a pot of gold, but in the kingdom I am bound for, I will find treasures beyond imagining. It is the time for me to take my place with the audience, to applaud the true King, and give up my tiara to, for it is His kingdom I am bound for, and give up my self-centredness to be Christ-centred, for whose honour I have pledged to uphold.

Today is my last day in GE, which has been the company where my dreams and aspirations had lay within for so long now. I suspect my time here has only been to serve as an illustration by the Author as to leaving behind the rainbow.

It is as if I am standing here, looking into the eyes of the twelve year old girl, who I am separated from by Time, which stands like a two way mirror. I see the wonder, dreams and desires in her eyes as she tries to peer through the glass, but only seeing her dreams and desires and thinks them the reflection of reality. Standing on the opposite side of the mirror, I begin to understand now that the reflection is not a reflection of reality, but what lies beyond it is, and I am ready to live my reality.