Journey mercies

So there I was, happily watching Private Practise on the Internet, enjoying a quiet and relaxed Friday evening.

When I looked up.

And saw.

A






MOUSE looking up at me in a corner!!!!!!






I immediately jumped and opened the door and called for KICHEOL!!!!!!!!!




And we spent the next 10 minutes, me in one corner, Kicheol in the other, with a plastic bag covering his hand (-_-) trying to catch the mouse. Whenever the mouse ran towards me I would hop away shrieking. I finally ended up jumping on the bed shrieking. Work has been tiring me out. I just don't have enough energy to cope with drama.

The mouse ran out of my room finally, which was all I cared about. We tried looking for it in the kitchen where it ran towards to, but it disappeared.

Thing is.

I CHASED a mouse out of the house 2 nights ago!!! I thought it was the only one!!! Either it found a way to come right back in, and GREW (because I'm telling you, I don't think it's my imagination that this mouse is much bigger than the other because I remember thinking awwww... you're only a wee lil dormouse and this didn't looking anything as cute and small like that dormouse!) or there could be *shudder* more than 2 mice! What if it starts to multiply!?! What if there's a hole somewhere that could lead it back into my room and it nibbles at me while I'm sleeping!?!?

Yeah. Well. Hmm.

Last Sunday after morning service, rather than chatting up a storm with different people, I sat down to chat with Pam, my 84 year old Christian hero.

I was feeling a little low-spirited as I spent a little too much time thinking this weekend. After chatting for a bit, she asked me, do I ever feel lonely?

She met and fell in love with her husband when she was 19. Their love for one another was so strong, he never proposed, they just knew they were meant for each other. They spent their next 60 years together, and 3-4 years ago, the Lord took him home first.

One thing I appreciate most about Pam is that she never puts up a show about herself, and is honest about herself. When she is lonely, she doesn't hide it. She spent most of her life with her late husband, and she is single for the first time in her life in her 80s and she spoke about the sharpness of the loneliness.

In some ways I'm glad that the Lord has kept me single thus far, so much so I am quite protective over my alone time and I sometimes wonder how I could give that up if I found someone. But at the same time, to have the kind of love Pam and Harold shared is too precious a gift not to desire for.

No, I'm never lonely. I think my daydreams are a worthy companion!

But there is something about this weekend that is whispering to me, but I can't yet put my finger to what it is. All the thoughts, dreams, conversations and incidents seem to be like cobwebs intertwining together to make a picture, yet I can't figure out what I'm looking at.

But though doubts and questions are plenty, I feel a strong assurance of God's blessings yet to come.

I can't stop repeating this, but 2009 is really giving me such joy. Each week I keep thinking about how wonderful it is to be full of joy, and knowing I am truly blessed. There are things that I'm concerned about, mainly work, but the joy overshadows those concerns.

Among one of those blessings, it only occurred to me just now, is the L family. Last night, after evening service, a few of us women were chatting as we continued sitting in the chapel after the service. It struck me we were surrounding this Zimbabwean lady that has just recently joined me. I'm glad there were a few other women who joined the circle to give her the welcoming warmth into the congregation as I only know too well the struggles of not being accepted readily enough to the folds of a church.

And Hannah L came up to her mom, Jess, and asked her if she wanted a drink. She proceeded to head towards the kitchen after that and a lady said that Jess' two girls were really the sweetest kids in church. Hannah came back with a cup of tea and a cake for her mom.

I've spent enough time with Jess and her family to observe Jess' character and her interaction with her kids and I am truly amazed and in awe of her. She speaks with such gentleness and soft firmness with them and even when they get overexcited and a little rowdy, she never loses that gentleness and soft firmness but tells them to calm down or they'll be taken aside. As much as I love the two girls, sometimes I do feel tempted myself to shush them, but Jess' level of patience is incredible and only tells them softly that it is enough. It helps of course that the girls are gentle enough in nature to listen and obey, but then again, I think with their parents gentle nature, they were shaped from birth to model after them.

12 year old Naomi one time said to me when we saw Jess talking to someone, "Oh no, there she goes again, striking up a conversation with someone again. She's always talking."

Jess has an incredibly likeable character, very easy to talk to because she's genuinely interested in people, and always tries to carry a conversation with anyone and everyone she sees. And you can see people responding to it, which makes you wonder why people don't seem as nice as that to you like when you see them with Jess.

The friendship with her kids, Naomi and Hannah as I mentioned before, is also an amazing blessing to me. I've also spent enough time with Jess and both of them, and seen how Jess plays with them and am impressed how Jess so easily strikes a balance between being both their mother and friend. And because of that the two girls seem to relate to me as both an adult and a friend easier than some kids. Hannah is a shy girl, but to see her deciding very firmly that I was a precious friend to her has been heartwarming because unlike some of the other kids, her loyalty to me is firm and affectionate.

I also sometimes find it harder to relate to older men than obviously, women. I found it a little difficult conversing with the girls' father, David at first. But for some reason after a few awkward attempts, we've had some pretty good conversations while having tea after service. I was glad that the L family joined me for lunch yesterday, because it was a situation where David was obviously not obliged to be thrown into because of my friendship with the girls in his life. That was how I felt most times when Jess would invite me to have lunch at their home.

I'm very impressed by how David very easily draws his girls into intellectual and most times silly conversations. They would often tell each other jokes after meals, and yet there are times when David shares with them his favourite poetry, or teach them play on words like spoonerism, palindrome and anagrams.

Listening to this sermon on singlehood and families supporting and modeling Christ' love for young people was what made me realise how as a family, the L's have been an immense blessing to me since I came to the UK. They have as a family unit impacted me so much during this time as no other has ever, and it makes me consider much more appreciatively of what it means to be a godly wife and mother (if and when God ever intends me to be one!).

And I am of course ever increasingly grateful for God to allow me to have such access to amazing people in my life. To have such godly people entering into my life and visibly and palpably influencing my life that makes me wonder what I would have been like without their involvement and investment in me! Some people live their lives without ever having this kind of blessing, and I wonder how poorly I would have fared without it.

One of the things that had helped me get to know people and adjust quickly and easily into my church here is the hospitality lunch that people do every Sunday after service. I remember the church in Newcastle was doing that as well, or tried doing it, but never heard or seen much people doing it. I'm glad that folks here in IPC do this really well as I've been so blessed by the them, being served good food and a warm, small and intimate environment to get to know different members of the church family better.

It got to a point though, after a few months, when no one was inviting me for lunch anymore :(

That was the sign that I was too much part of the church family to be included in hospitality meals and everyone paid more attention to even newer members. And I was soon roped in to provide meals instead.

Today was such a time, where I provided lunch for a group of people.

Earlier during the week I was bouncing off ideas with Eevon about what food I should prepare and she crossed off some ideas as suicide. I tend to get too ambitious for my own good.

So I finally resorted to making some safe dishes - fried beehoon! Safe too, since most of my guests would not have had it before, or at least not specifically Malaysian fried beehoon so I could fob it off as original Malaysian recipe.

Whenever I cook, I get extremely nervous. I'm always anxious about whether my dishes are going to come out terrible tasting and no one would like it and when I take too long a time and I get anxious of whether my guests have walked out on me, starving too much to wait anymore.

I made fried eggs, fried beehoon, boiled kai lan and a fried beef dish. The fried beef dish was the last one I made, and I was running late, and decided to forget following the recipe that I had and improvised on the spot!

Also, by which time, I had somehow managed to pick up more than expected guests. From original number of 9 people, it ballooned up to 13 people. I hate to turn away anybody and to let anyone feel left out and would invite the whole church if I could. But I was also concerned whether I had enough food for that amount! I literally prayed to God to help make sure there was enough food. If Jesus could feed 5,000 people, I'm sure 13 people wouldn't be too much a feat.

Out of the guests, I was glad that Naomi and Hannah L and their parents agreed to join for lunch too. They have blessed me with so much meals and support that I really wanted to have them share a Malaysian (more or less) meal. Having them around makes such a difference for me.

Surprise, surprise, there was just enough food and even 3rd helpings for a few people. And everyone claimed it was an excellent meal I made. I told Sarah that English people are so polite, they would never say it was a horrible meal. But what made me really happy was when Brazillian Carlo, who is a famed cook in church, insisted it was an excellent meal. That was it! My achievement of the year!

He particularly enjoyed my fried beef too! Which I was so pleased about, because when I was improvising on it, I felt that something was missing in the taste and couldn't figure out what. I was pacing around the kitchen nervously as I was trying to figure out what was the missing ingredient and for some reason something told me it was vinegar and I whacked a fair amount of it into the pan and hey! It did the trick!

Phew... what a journey it has been though. For someone who started out from knowing just making egg dishes and instant noodles, to a full and satisfying meal.

I also made green tea tiramisu which I absolutely loved. Will be making that soon sometime!

I'm considering of moving again. Not that I want to, but the flat has the master bedroom at one end, another room beside it and then mine.

Previously the two kids slept with their parents, and the middle room was a study room. But now the kids have been moved to the middle room, and the walls are so thin and children have no sense of the importance of peace and quiet.

They woke up about the same as me this morning but as I was preparing for work, they were chattering, laughing, making noises basically and I was so incredibly irked! When I'm tired, I'm cranky, and so in the mornings, I rarely strike up conversations with anybody because of that.

I was up already and technically they aren't disturbing me, so I held back my annoyance. But I told my landlord the first chance I got today that I will absolutely not tolerate my weekends to be disturbed and will snap at them if they dared.

So anyway, they're just kids and they're at that age where they should be allowed to be just kids no matter how cranky an old aunty I can be. So I spoke to my landlord about what could possibly be the best arrangement for everyone.

I love, absolutely love living in church. You just can't beat the 1 minute walk to service, having access to the piano, church backyard, church building, borrowing cutleries from the church kitchen when we need to. And I've also worked out a routine for work and moving all my stuff again is going to be such a hassle.

But... I reaaaally don't want to live with kids anymore.

I'm still slightly amazed how well 2009 has kicked off. It feels as if I've been waking up to joy everyday this year. Well, once I get pass the initial 15 min of moaning and groaning about how I've not had enough of sleep and stumble out of bed.

I remember how I used to wake up to dread every Monday morning when I was in Malaysia for the longest time. And how I could feel it slowly spreading to Tuesday... Wednesday... and when it spread to Thursday, that was when I knew with absolute certainty I had to get out of the company.

So to wake up to joy Monday right through to Sunday is amazing to me!

There's also a certain deep-seated sense of peace that last year never gave. I would not hesitate to trade in the whole of last year for this one month of peace in heart and mind.

And quite unexpectedly, one of the source of joy has also recently come from two girls, 11 yo Naomi L and 9 yo Hannah L. We spent a year feeling a bit awkward around each other, not knowing what to say to each other. But in the last 2 months, something just clicked between Naomi and I and the friendship with her and her family (her parents has also been incredibly supportive of me). The friendship I would say, has a taste of destiny.

In the recent weeks, during the youth work in church, I've slowly become the 'bad cop', or 'Iron fisted hand' for being the one implementing punishments and warnings for rowdy kids. Today, I quite literally ran away from the younger, rowdier group, which I've been watching over for a few weeks in a row to join the older group.

When I went back to the hall where the younger group was, I was surprised to find the most laid back leader, who frustrated me a little last week for not being more strict with some rowdy kids, telling some of the kids they were not having sweets this week and one of the girls went home crying. Apparently the younger kids were extremely rowdy this week and he had no choice but to punish most of them.

Hehe... I couldn't help but smirk inside. I was so happy to take a break from those kids and let the rest manage them! Oh yes, and this is also one of the reasons why I feel so peaceful tonight! No headache from screaming every 5 minutes at the kids to listen and be quiet. I'm sure on average, I will scream out 2 names more than 20 times in a night.

But I'll still say though, they are all still a bundle of joy!

Yesterday Go Un said that the family (KiCheol and family) were feeling very tired from playing in the morning (which I had joined them). And they were all surprised to see me dashing out again in the afternoon when the other church members turned up for a snowball fight and seeing me running about playing. She was amazed at my energy.

Actually I was also quite amazed. But by the time evening came, I would have kicked myself in the butt if I had the energy because I forgot I had to cook for homegroup on Tuesday night and I was dead tired by then but still had to struggle to get the cooking done.

My body was aching incredibly on Tuesday, and I was suffering from a migraine the whole day. Good thing my boss was perfectly fine letting me and my team member to stay out of the office another day. Yes, I love how a few inches of snow can throw off the country this much!

I really do keep forgetting that I'm no longer a kid.

This morning, when I realised it looked impossible for me to get to work, Do Yeong found me standing at the corridor looking out of the window with a smile. Not a usual sight at all, since I'm usually rushing about trying to get out of the door on time and not at all cheerful at that.

As we both looked out of the window together, I had the joy of giving the happy news that all schools were closed. The kids were expectedly thrilled by that.

I later texted Martin, who being a school teacher, once told me that teachers were most times happier than the students when school closes on account of heavy snow, to see if he was really happy or not.

He replied suggesting, "Snow fight?!"

From that small suggestion, we managed to gather neighbourly troops to join us at the church backyard for massive snow fight!
























By the end of the day, I was exhausted. I also had to spend some time frying rice for tomorrow Chinese New Year social special for homegroup. If I had known suggesting to celebrate CNY meant us Chinese folks having to do all the cooking, I might have kept quiet about it.

We all agreed it was nice that it snowed on a Monday and we gained an extra day off. But I think things will start to lose its cheerfulness from tomorrow onwards. Temperature is predicted to dip further, the snow is going to turn to ice, it's going to be difficult to get into work. As much fun today was, too long a disruption on my weekly routine is not necessarily a good thing I reckon.

With a whole backyard of snow... it was inevitable... we all dashed outside, rolling in the snow, throwing snowballs.


















I'm now suffering from cold backside from sitting on the snow.

Aiya, if I knew for certain that public transport was going to have a lockdown, I would not have struggled so hard this morning to wake up!

Muahahaha... am I glad to have a deskbound job, and no access to company Intranet so I'm technically working from home, but nothing to work on!!!

This week has been reported to be what will be considered as the coldest spell London has ever had in the last 20 years and it'll be snowing today till Tuesday, and some areas are reported to see at least 15cm of snow.

I was visiting my aunt over the weekend, and as I headed back to my place this afternoon, I could really feel the iciness in the air!

And shortly after evening service at church, it started to snow heavily! And the picture above was taken just now.

Although I keep telling people I don't quite like snow, especially once it turns into dirty slush, I have to admit, there is something magical when it is snowing, and when you see the pristine white snow untouched on the ground.

The one thing I bet is on everyone's mind is whether we're going to be able to be 'snowed in' and can't go to school and work!!! Apparently it does happen, even with one inch of snow. My cousin's wife who is American thinks it funny how one inch of snow can cause a standstill in London when people in America and Canada contend with several feet of snow. But because London usually doesn't see snow, it does cause havoc to transportation systems.

I'm quite excited to see what it's going to be like for the next two days.