Journey mercies

But I was given a verse by my sis-in-Christ, Sherine, when I asked her support to pray for me Deuteronomy 8:18, "You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day."

I am actually quite slow in my thinking, I get confused easily especially when you throw numbers at me (to think I'm in sales!). Nor am i tenacious to work hard to develop myself. How absolutely inept I actually am! But as always, He assures that He has set me on this path for a reason, and in time to come I will see how perfect His plans for me is always good.

We've been studying the gospel of Mark, and again and again the challenge has been thrown at us, if we believe Christ is God, how shall our response be? Will we believe that we can walk on water and He can enlarge our small offerings of bread and fish to feed thousands?

Our group has spent nearly over a year thinking we should pray harder for God to bring musicians to our midst. But only recently someone mused that God was wanting to raise musicians from amidst us instead. The Pastor's Wife led by signing up for guitar lessons, and it is incredible, after just 2 lessons she was playing songs and leading us into a great atmosphere of worship. The Pastor has said from 10 years ago, I have the ability to play instruments and last week again mentioned in passing that I have the ability. In the midst of this week I grudgingly sat in front of the piano I bought since last year that perhaps I could step out in faith. I tinkered a song out during worship this week. I can only play single note tunes on my right hand, but I was surprised I could get the tune out with only 10 minutes before we sang the song.

After the teaching, I felt strongly that I should encourage everyone to respond to the challenge of responding to God by repenting of our sins. I asked everyone to stand and motioned to YYee to play something on the keyboard. Like me, she learned piano but never played consistently and publicly. After that I asked The Pastor's Wife to play the guitar and then Sherine to lead in prayer. I love the fact that this group is so used to spontaneous unplanned things that anything really goes. There isn't a fixed time and programme but a lot of room for the Holy Spirit to do as He will.

And it was great to hear YYee say, "I can't play well, but I figured everyone's going to be so engrossed in prayer that whatever I play on the keyboard will come out beautiful." What faith! It was great to hear her pray even though there was no prompt of whether it was open for people to pray, but she did because she wanted to. Sometimes, it isn't about waiting for God to tell us what we should do. Sometimes we need to demand to give to God. After that Kat showed me the images she scribbled on her iPad of the individuals she saw while I was praying over them. Some, of the fire surrounding them, some more obscure. But she is so artistic it was amazing in itself she could capture each image that came. I was a bit disappointed that there was no vision over me, but she gently said that I was the giver now. That in itself was as affirming and encouraging over any prophecy or vision. I could boast so much more of this little body in the Church of God!

But all this to say, our faith is increasing as is our love for one another. I am an inadequate employee for my company. But watch what the Lord will do. He is far more incredible than anyone will imagine. And if He should choose not to bless with success that people often fight for, my rewards in heaven is certain. I am content.

I'd like to think I was made of stern stuff, and I would have succeeded and flourished even in the face of any hardship, like how people with rags-to-riches stories are. But I highly doubt it. I am only too aware of my failings. Let me born into the world by a weaker woman than my mother, and I surely would not live today.

But truly, above all, Christ has been exceedingly gracious. For one who has such weak disposition as I do, He has surrounded me at every turn people of strong countenance, who have lent their strength to me.

My sister who paved the way for me to come into the knowledge of God, my mother, paving the way for me into the world with education and financial support. The Pastor and The Pastor's Wife, who paved the way for me to enter into a greater spiritual understanding. The people at work who had paved the way open for me to survive in the corporate world. Ashley, for paving the road into a wonderful time of love, friendship and joy amidst a church in London of which has meant immeasurably to me.

Today, I met someone who I felt is another one of those strong characters who would lend me their strength where I really help with. Even as we spoke, I felt the fear and tension ease away. It is really such a privilege, when you meet people who make you feel good about yourself and who encourage you to face the world with courage.