I woke up like really early today to get into the office, waaay before the sun rose. But so glad I did because I managed to finish a quotation just in time for one of the account manager to step into a customer meeting and present to him the stuff. Phew.
But even more grateful, how I can experience God in the small ways at work today. I received an email from a colleague that sounded very condescending. Condescending people are just about the most irritating type of people you can meet, at least for me. And I felt annoyed that it was because another colleague had sent him some stuff, which to me was between the two of us and if she had any issues, trash it out with me.
I was soooo tempted to shoot off a sharp and sarcastic reply (in my usual, brash and abrasive manner, which I'm often guilty of), but managed to stop myself halfway composing as I tried to think through whether God would want me to do so or not. And I had to think why was I even bothered, and it was really out of pride, from having anyone question me, rather than any good reason for me to reply and so I let it slide. That's growth for you, or rather, me, baby.
How did I experience God in that?
Sure I did. I saw how the very thought of Him stopped me and made me do a U-turn from my years of ingrained habit. I saw how my desire for His approval caused me to allow people who didn't have the right to have a condescending attitude towards me go with their attitudes unchecked (when I really would have preferred to bonk him on his head to teach him of the consequences of such actions).
Yes, I do have a temper. If you haven't experienced it yet, how very fortunate of you (I still can't get over the fact that there have been people who were so convinced I was an innocent and sweet person!).
Speaking of which, there are a group of people in my company that I simply cannot get along with for the oddest of reasons. They are one of the nicest people around, pleasant and treat people with a lot of respect. And for some reason, I feel absolutely evil around them!
It just occurred to me today that that was the reason why I could never feel comfortable around them. And I realised, it was because they think I come off too strongly, that I could do with a little more tact and they had even admitted they first thought I was not a team player, which they said only because they acknowledged that their perception may not have been completely accurate. And I felt uncomfortable, because these 'nicest people around', 'pleasant' and 'respectful' people judged me from the start and continue to judge me! (I didn't say everyone thinks I'm sweet and innocent. I'm just amazed that there are any who do at all)
No, I'm not trying to justify myself nor am I trying to put them down. It's just that I had always thought it was the more 'temperamental' or the more opinionated minded type of people would be more quick to judge than even-tempered, 'nice' people. And it's really more of food for thought for me, that sins come in all types of packages.
Once again, I am thankful, because even in such a situation I can experience more of God.
I am half-tempted to react and say to these people in my minds, "See, you think yourself as righteous, but God is far more pleased with me than you!". But the Holy Spirit reminds me of the wrongness of it, and that I should 'continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in me to will and to act according to His good purpose' Philippians 2:12-13.
A reminder that it isn't really about me or about them.
Just another day at work
Post a Comment