For the first time since I took up this role in the Company, my controlled facade of cool strength rippled. For the first time, tears of frustration welled up.
It's my 24th birthday today as well. And I enjoyed it.
No, not because of my masochism. But it was because as I stared at my red face from trying to stop the tears falling when I was fighting to regain my composure in the privacy of the toilet, I realised, hey, this isn't so bad after all. And you know what, it really isn't.
And the realization that I am taking things in stride better these days and though I'm frustrated, I'm not broken. Though I feel bone weary, I'm not near giving up yet, because I know that I can see this through. And though I want to cry, I know in my heart there's still joy.
And I know that I've come far. For the first time for more than a year struggling in my climb on this huge mountain Jesus set me on, I can finally see the distance I've covered. For all the tears, sweat and grime, it feels like we finally took a break from climbing, and from seeing the progress we've made for the first time, I can only hug Jesus in relief.
And I feel amazed, because I don't see Jesus in a spotlessly clean linen, but I see Him just as sweaty and as grimy, because He climbed this mountain with me.
I don't know how to put it in words. It's not the conventional birthday gift. But Jesus reminded me of my journey with Him. And that's just so typical of Jesus' gifts to me, and so typically beautiful.
Happy Birthday
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