These past 2 days, I learnt one thing - don't trust anyone. Such cynicism will be the only thing that makes you survive the rat race. I think larh... haven't really spent that much time to justify that statement yet.
Suddenly, I remember my conversation with Carla, a good friend from the Bahamas, when I was in UK about cynicism. She was the cynic and I was the idealist.
Carla : In the Bahamas, we can't be naive, or people will take advantage of you.
Me : Well, I think I'm more naive. But I think I would prefer to be naive rather than cynical of people, because I think it would be just easier to trust God to protect me than to constantly be cynical of my fellow men, which can be tiring.
There can be a whole shitload of arguments based on that, but the conversation really needs to be understood as per the context of how we understood it. The point wasn't about being naive or cynical, it was really on how much we trusted God to protect us.
When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD,
he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.
Proverbs 16:7
he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.
Proverbs 16:7
I could be cynical of people, and not tell the truth in order to keep them from exploiting from the truth to take advantage of me even if I don't know whether they will. But is that pleasing to God? What ends do I want to achieve, to not be seen as naive (which connotes negativity), or do I want to (attempt to) live a righteous and blameless life?
Yesterday I was chatting with a colleague, and I described my time right now as a period of "Deconstruction and Reconstruction", because it feels as if I'm constantly being challenged to the breaking point. It's an acid test of a make or break situation. And what kind of person it will make me if it doesn't break me is also the question.
I can choose to be the kind of person who grumbles, is resentful, vindictive, petty and argumentative and protects her own interests, reacting to the imperfections of the world and people, or I can choose to be the kind of person God would be well pleased with and choose to act on what is right. Even if it is at the cost of my pride, or to be more precise, especially at the cost of my pride.
He likes to do this you know. He likes to remind me of things I've spoken about and then use my own words against me to remind me not to be a hypocrite and to walk the talk. Sigh... and I just happened to have to be a talkative person. :}