Journey mercies

If I ever needed prayer, it'll be this month! For some reason, this month looks set to be my busiest month ever!!

For one, silly me didn't realise what this month would be like when I happily accepted the scheduled sales training in the second week of May. It's four days in a row, morning to evening, and they imposed if we missed 2 hours in a row in any of the session, we'll be sent packing and redo the entire training again. Implication is, I can't work at all for the entire four days, and have to catch up with work after the training hours.

The heat is on for us to meet our quota for the 1st half of the year, which means I have to work like a mad woman (not like I'm not one already) this month! Taking a week out of the month is not going to help.

And the big clincher... my 1st semester of Masters of Christian Studies is coming to an end, and I have my exams after next week! I feel like crying... and after that week, I have to hand in my project on "God and Evil: How Can a Good and Almighty God Allow Evil to Exist?". 5000 words! I need help, Pastor Sivin!!!

The only thing that's keeping me sane now is the knowledge that God is no man's debtor... so I'm expecting loads and loads of blessings from the Almighty for all my sufferings now (see me try goading God into it)!

Well... on the brighter side of things... I recapped on the last four months on my job, and boy, has it been rough. But I think I'm slowly getting the hang of it; though the work is maddening, the expectations suffocating, the demands constipating, it's really not as difficult as it was when I first started. Well, maybe it is, but it's a different kind of difficulty. Not the kind that makes me feel like the stupidest person in my company and experiencing a constant self-bashing (I do that a lot) every other day.

I complained so many times that I had better see some returns at the end of all the hard work, and I guess I'm seeing it somewhat. It's not translating to monetary results yet, but there's a huge sense of self-satisfaction. I wanted a challenge, I sought for a challenge, I got more of a challenge than I hoped for, and I'm meeting that challenge. Knowing I didn't give up though the dear good Lord knows I wanted to so, so many times, is priceless. I think there were times it was quite apparent I was slowly giving up, that my colleagues had to message/talk/pyscho/brainwash me not to give up. There were even times when they complained even louder than me to show me that I'm not the only one frustrated.

2006 has and is a hell of a ride. I can only trust God to help me survive the rest of it.