Journey mercies

So right, Bro O reminded me yesterday of James 1:2-5, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

And this morning when I opened the Bible (which I've not done for a while) I read a portion on wisdom in the book of Proverbs, and Psalm 23, of my Shepherd who leads me to quiet waters and green pastures.

Right... I'll take the hint, God.

So I kept asking Him for wisdom throughout the day. A few things happened today, but most importantly, after a period of dissatisfaction, discontentment and restlessness in the office, today I experienced some of the joy of working that went missing for a while.

It was different mainly because I stopped focusing on the negativity that kept attacking my mind; and I guess worked just became over demanding that I could finally give my full attention at work and not bother about the factors that was causing my dissatisfaction.

I was talking to a very very difficult partner in the afternoon and I honestly wanted to whack the phone over his head and tell him to go to my competitor so he can give them a difficult time instead. But I kept swallowing my pride and anger and after a while, he managed to even compromise for me after assuring him I would avoid having him to make the compromise if I could. At the end of the call, he was speaking more reasonably and almost with a hint of respect (or so I'd like to think). But the call took all my energy and focus to remain civil, and clear minded not to get pulled into arguing with him. There were moments when I raised my voice only to catch myself in time. Somebody tried to call my landline while I spoke to my partner on my mobile and I couldn't help but release tension on the caller by picking the receiver and then slamming it down again. The caller tried calling 3 times and each time I picked it up and slammed it down each time.

When I finished my call, everyone started telling me about how everyone hates working with this particular partner and was very surprised that I could manage him. My manager even said that if I can manage this particular guy, I can handle practically anyone else.

And I felt really good after the whole incident, mainly because it made me realise, I can cope after all, without my ex-Team Leader. I'm learning to stand on my own two feet. And the fact that I could swallow my own pride and anger showed me how far I've come.

And of course, most importantly, how God has never turned a deaf ear to my prayers. :)