It's funny. I keep thinking each morning to myself, is this the day I wake up to my super hero powers and become SupaWoman? You have no idea how much my own normal mortality disappoints me when I realise my time has unfortunately not come.
But. But, I think I'm slowly awakening my super hero powers. I can actually, now read carefully, I can actually predict what my entire week will be like at the start of the week, early Monday morning!
It's true! I can actually predict whether it'll be a good week or a freaking hellish week ahead of me just like that! And true enough, Monday morning I felt it deep in my under-calcium nourished bones that it would be a bad, very bad, week.
Lo and behold.
It has been a bad, very bad, week.
Car problems, back problems, work problems... enough to make me cringe and want to sink my head deep under the covers of my blanket and sleep the rest of the week away.
And guess what? I enjoyed my week. :D
Hehehe... yes, my masochism is going strong as ever. I'm not too sure whether I strive under stress. But stress and challenges always pushes my boundaries so that it keeps expanding inch by inch. It's painful, but the pain makes me feel alive. I feel alive when I can feel my head ache from thinking too much, I feel alive when I straighten my back and feel my muscles stretching. I feel alive when I can't think from being too demoralised and because a part of my mind refuses to let the despair incapacitate me, it fights furiously to find a way out of the mess I'm in. I feel alive when I speak out against the wrongness of the situation I am in and I feel alive when I speak to people about it and hear feedback and perspectives I never looked at before. I feel alive when my mind and body lean against the chair exhausted, but yet, feel my spirit stand strong even though my body slumps limplessly.
I feel alive because a part of me flails in despair under the waves of despair and yet, another part of me refuses to give in but is defiant to stand even when the waves pulls back.
How's that for super powers?
A near super hero
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