Journey mercies

Hmm... something's wrong with Blogger. Or could it be user problem? I'm having problems publishing, editing or even deleting entries. Well, not that I have much energy left to do much blogging anyway.

I would talk about work, but I have resolved to try to center too much energy and focus on it. As adviced by my regional manager, be passionate yet remain disconnected.

But if I don't talk about work...

I remember when I was in Year 6 in primary school, one of the teachers was trying to scare us, telling us that secondary will be tough. Real tough. We would start to do real work, and we would be so busy we wouldn't even have time to pass motion. She managed to worry me, which is probably why till today I can recall her words.

But secondary school didn't turn out the way she said it would, quite the opposite in fact. But today... suddenly I find her words finally coming true. I've never felt so rushed, harried, pulled, squeezed, and any other adjectives that could describe my poor mentally harassed state of mind.

Surely life is meant to be much more. Surely this buzyness has got to be unnatural and unhealthy. I think I hear all my sane friends go, you think? with dripping sarcasm.

The last time I talked to Bro O, he challenged me, to consider if God were to ask me to sacrifice my work, just as He had challenged Abraham to sacrifice his only son to the knife, would I be able to do it?

I was taken by surprise by his challenge at first. There were no thoughts as to what I would say or do, but the emotions that coursed through me at that point was sufficient an answer. I felt dismayed that God could one day demand this of me. Forgo my sizable pay and luxurious lifestyle I've accustomed to?

Sometimes, unknowingly, we slowly start to clench our fingers over the things that are placed in our palms. And the tighter we hold on to the things, the harder it is for us to let someone take it away from us, and not without a fight. And I was slowly tightening my grip over my job and the things it offered me.

What a strong illusion that would have you believe that you had control over the things you owned, when beneath it, it is the things that you own that controls you.

Ahhh... time for me to sleep. It's been a pretty demanding week.