May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
One of my biggest weakness is that when I am annoyed or angry, my words and the manner I speak tends to be harsher and sharper.I remember it was when in primary school, and I was caught by surprised by a friend's bluntness about how my breath stank. And I liked that element of surprise. :P So it was at that point when I decided to be as blunt as possible. Of course, being blunt is not appreciated by everyone. And over the years, I learnt that tact is a skill that I reaaaally needed to learn.
So anyway, being a choleric, when I'm working, I am so intense on getting things done and done well, that being nice goes out of the window. Incompetency is disgusting. Inability to think independently and creatively is annoying. These are some maxim that describes and shapes my attitude when working.
Last year I didn't grapple with this issue because I still had lots of time to think about being nice. This year, my work is twofold and I have no time to even consider being nice. I was desperate to just manage.
Well, but now God went and made me a little more human and now I'm kinda, well, feeling bad because two of my colleagues who experienced my harsh bluntness accused me of being a snob. Now I can say a lot of things of why they experienced that, but, I claim responsibility of my own actions and not my place to accuse.
I think two of my dear friends also recently experienced the ugly side of Choleric me (sorry... no face liao).
The point I'm trying to make is, I'm really learning how to accept the way God has wired me. I make no excuses for my actions (although I must say, I think anger and using words to hurt is hereditary in my family. But hey, no finger pointing. I am fully responsible for my own actions).
And I'm really just learning that there really is a need to be gracious.
BIG thanks to Li Shuan, since she was the perfect person to talk to about these thoughts since she works in the same company, has the same temperament and has just a few more years more of experience than I do. So to have her share her experiences and give advice as a person who struggles with the same problems, was deeply encouraging and affirming.
This is a great article for understanding me better. :D
If you're too lazy to read, read this:
"The Choleric's one devastation is being misunderstood and considered emotionally cold. Don't believe that for a minute. There is a heart under there and it loves and wants to be loved, even if they can't easily show it.
If you have a strong willed Choleric in your life, please don't hate them! If they are sticking their nose in your business and you don't want them to - just tell them so! They can handle it! If they speak harshly and hurt your feelings - tell them! They might honestly not know that their words carry that much power to hurt you. Otherwise, embrace their leadership qualities and put them to work! They have great intuition and they are extremely loyal to those who appreciate and encourage them."
If you have a strong willed Choleric in your life, please don't hate them! If they are sticking their nose in your business and you don't want them to - just tell them so! They can handle it! If they speak harshly and hurt your feelings - tell them! They might honestly not know that their words carry that much power to hurt you. Otherwise, embrace their leadership qualities and put them to work! They have great intuition and they are extremely loyal to those who appreciate and encourage them."
Urmm... something I wanna try to remember myself, of the Choleric women in my family.
Ooohh... also take note, I'm a choleric sanguine. ;D