Journey mercies

For some reason, 2007 feels like it's going to be a reeeeaaallly good year. I feel it in my bones. Since my intuition on this kind of things are usually fairly accurate I feel really optimistic. I can feel the tempo this year changing into a more rapid and lighter beat.

When I was in Singapore a couple of months back, I got to know some really sweet Singaporean girls who were only slightly younger than me, from Bro O's church. On the way to lunch, one of them was telling me about Bro O's advice to her, to slog really hard in the first few years of working so that it would be smoother flowing for the later years.

I snorted and told her not to listen to him because it was that same advice I took two years back and it turned me into a highly strung workaholic. Bro O's only response to that was his evil chuckle.

But of course, as he always is, he was right. Although I haven't sowed enough to harvest much back in return, the little harvest I have managed to enjoy made the hard work worth it. Not because of the commissions and incentives my sales job gives, but more for the sense of self-achievement and increased self-worth from the knowledge that I do have the ability and the capacity that is valued. For someone who grew up feeling the contrary and being in the shadow of siblings who seemed far more cleverer and loved, it is important that I can now value my own achievements in my own eyes, which is far more critical than any other.

And God reminds me that He is no man's debtor and of an even more personal promise, that He will repay the years the locusts has eaten.

Oh yes, although Bro O managed to badger me to start on my Masters of Christian Studies last year, I never managed to even get through my first subject! :S

I got burnt out in May '06. I remember very clearly the time period because it was when sales training, high work demands, assignments and exams all clamoured into one single month. It was so incredibly stressful I simply crashed and burnt that month. No matter how much Bro O tried to push me to finish up my course project after that, I simply could not pick myself up.

I'm slowly mending, but still feeling the after effects! Mended enough to restart on my MCS again! Hehe. But this time Bro O kicked me towards Malaysia Baptist Theology School which unlike MBS, does not have the classes in the evenings where I have to rush like mad after work to. They have intensive classes on Saturday, from 9am to 4pm.

I went to my first class yesterday on Genesis 1-11 with 8 other students. Wahliau wey. For a person suffering from ADD, 6 hours of lecture was a little trying. I could only stretch myself for 5 hours. During the last hour I was fidgeting constantly, changing sitting positions every half a minute. I was ready to break my pen into small pieces by the time the class finally ended.

After 1 1/4 years, I might finally get my first credit out of the 60+ I need to get my Masters. Hehe. Good luck to me eh?