I think she mentioned about how I'm still young. But I'm pretty sure I passionately declared that time was too short for me to make mistakes! So I gave her an example.
At that point I was 21 years old right. So, let's say I meet a guy when I'm 22 right. And we got to know each other for let's say a year before we decide, hey, maybe something can work out right?
So I'll be 23 when we start dating.
So now let's say we're dating for two years right, and we decide, let's get married. I'll be 25 then right?
So give and take a year of planning, I'll be 26 years old when I have my perfect wedding, right?
Whooopee... BEST case scenario.
NOT SO IDEAL case scenario!
What if when we've dated for two years after dating for a year, which is after knowing each for a year from the point of when I was writing the email to my mom, we decide that it's not going anywhere?!?! I'll be back at square one when I'm 25 years old!
And maybe, just maybe, I meet someone else when I'm 26 years old, and then repeat the process of getting to really know him after a year, and then date for another year, and let's say after that give and take a year for wedding plans I'll be 29 years old!!!?! I would have to get pregnant immediately to have a kid before I pass 30 years old (apparently someone somewhere said that would help in reducing breast pregnancy chances, though not that I know of anyone in my family having suffered from cancer that's not the point)!!!
WORST case scenario!!
The same scene repeats itself for a few times! I'll be... OLD before I finally meet Mr. Right-Guy-For-Me!!! And I might be too old to have kids then (despite me having grand plans of adopting kids that's still not the point!)!!!
So yeah, I told my mom pretty emphatically, I could. Not. Afford. Time. I wonder who I inherited my drama mama-ness from.
So hehe... after a few months into my first real relationship at the age of 23, I should have seen it coming when my mom took me out for lunch one Sunday afternoon and started talking about a house and if I planned to settle in it with my boyfriend then, she could help both of us to finance it.
-_O"
My mind went, "Gosh, woman, I'm only 23! I still have lots of time!"
Hehe... naw... it didn't actually. But I did sweat imaginary sweat. Thank God I was only 23. If I was 26 years old and starting a relationship I probably woulda really sweated with such a comment. Not that I wasn't in a relationship that I didn't hope would lead somewhere then. Just that at that point we were still trying to figure out whether it would lead somewhere or not.
Somewhat a little wiser from going old (funny how that happens huh), I am still as idealistic as I can be about certain things. But certainly not as naive as one usually is when they're much much younger.
Can you imagine? A friend who still keeps the emails I used to send when I was in university told me he was re-reading them the other day and in one of them, I told him (rather emphatically as well) that I would not hold the hands of the man I love until we walked down the wedding aisle.
Ahh... to be young and innocent again.
I told him to
Oh well, I'm 26 now....but still single and available. So how ah??? sweat sweat???
And, I'm one of those kept emails or letters from my friends. Even letters that i get during high school....haha...I'm the one who always re-reading it. Reflecting back those sweet moments, as well...how my self been changed.
-_0
Posted by
StephyQ |
10:07 AM
If you had to be completely honest, what would you say to a 33 year old female friend who felt exactly the same way you do? Is it too late for her? Are there other things more important in life than waiting for Mr Right? Aaaargh, what I would give to be your age with your worries.
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:39 AM
I used to think the way you do, but now realise that relationships (and life) can't be that formulaic. Especially after watching my housemate Emmy get together with Sherman within two months... it looks fast when you think about the short time frame, but to someone like me who has been present throughout the entire process, I can see how things developed between them and what the foundations of the relationship, their commitment to each other etc is like -- and because of all the things in place, it no longer seems fast to me because it's not as if they are rushing into things without knowing each other.
So... if Emmy & Sherman could get together within two months of meeting and get married within less than a year of courtship, then it could happen to any of us too. The most important thing to remember is that the dynamics of every relationship is different, so it's hard to say -- some people date for 8 years, then break up. Others date for a year, then marry.
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:05 PM
Sunflower: The post was to be satirical more than anything. ;) But I do seriously believe that we can waste time if we enter into relationships frivolously without due regards for what it's meant to be in God's eyes.
Anonymous: It's a difficult situation. I can laugh about it now because of the age I am in. I probably might not be laughing so easily when I am closer to the 30's region. So no matter who says what about such a situation you may find yourself in, I don't think anyone would has the right to presume to know answers unless the person is a lady AND has gone through a similar situation.
Posted by
ee |
5:58 PM
Steph: You're another one of those dangerous fellas, keeping all those emails! -_-"
Posted by
ee |
5:59 PM
Dangerous fellas??? hahaha... I'm innocent one.... :P
*watched too much investigation TVB movies, collect and keep everything....who knows, you might need it as evidence in the future??? :D
Posted by
StephyQ |
5:57 PM