Last Sunday after morning service, rather than chatting up a storm with different people, I sat down to chat with Pam, my 84 year old Christian hero.
I was feeling a little low-spirited as I spent a little too much time thinking this weekend. After chatting for a bit, she asked me, do I ever feel lonely?
She met and fell in love with her husband when she was 19. Their love for one another was so strong, he never proposed, they just knew they were meant for each other. They spent their next 60 years together, and 3-4 years ago, the Lord took him home first.
One thing I appreciate most about Pam is that she never puts up a show about herself, and is honest about herself. When she is lonely, she doesn't hide it. She spent most of her life with her late husband, and she is single for the first time in her life in her 80s and she spoke about the sharpness of the loneliness.
In some ways I'm glad that the Lord has kept me single thus far, so much so I am quite protective over my alone time and I sometimes wonder how I could give that up if I found someone. But at the same time, to have the kind of love Pam and Harold shared is too precious a gift not to desire for.
No, I'm never lonely. I think my daydreams are a worthy companion!
But there is something about this weekend that is whispering to me, but I can't yet put my finger to what it is. All the thoughts, dreams, conversations and incidents seem to be like cobwebs intertwining together to make a picture, yet I can't figure out what I'm looking at.
But though doubts and questions are plenty, I feel a strong assurance of God's blessings yet to come.
Unthreaded thoughts
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