Been grappling this weekend.
There were no answers to the cries of my heart from the Lord. Just merely questions.
How long do I have to prove Myself?
Amazing how loaded that one question can be. He has proven Himself good and faithful more than 3 of my lifetimes.
I will choose, even if it means never "experiencing" Him in the same measures I have experienced in the earlier years of following after Him, to trust. Even if it means Him being silent till the day He calls me home.
I'll still probably whine and act up every so often. That's probably going to take 2 lifetimes to beat out my system.