I have learnt in the last few months to unlearn things. Habits, preconceived notions, even teachings of the Bible received in earlier days. I know less today, and yet in the same paradox, know more.
I've had so much thoughts as many people would, in the last number of days, particularly of the controversial war in Gaza. I wish I could let my opinion be heard, but admittedly the opinion is changing day by day. The voice of loudest protest the world has comes from a desire to deny God's rightful sovereignty and righteousness and my instant reaction would be to shout back louder lest they think that by the might of their voice proves the righteousness of their condemnation.
Fie!
But I sense a brand of silence, and the one message that has been repeated to me for days is 1 Peter 2:21-23 - To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. "He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth." When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.
It is not just to my boiling opinions that the Gaza war has precipitated; it is also to other personal experiences that this verse has been addressing.
Jesus' closest friends betrayed Him, abandoned Him, denied Him. He was flayed, flogged, left to die, and He did not retaliate but prayed for their forgiveness. What I begin to feel, is nothing compared to the loneliness of Jesus' suffering. What I begin to suspect, is nothing compared to the eventual gloriousness of the new heaven and earth when Jesus' work is complete.
What do I know about prayer?
Nothing.
Who am I to tell God how to do His work? What do I know that I should ask for God anything, when He knows better than I do what is good for me? If I claim to trust in His goodness to provide (Romans 8:28, Ephesians 3:20) then what can I ask for in prayer except but to give thanks? For be it good or bad, there can only be days filled with joy for me (James 1:2-4).
I can no longer associate prayer as an activity of asking. I am slowly associating prayer as an activity of aligning with God's will, even if I don't understand it.
I can't pray for the Gaza war to stop. Just as I cannot pray for the suffering in Darfur to stop. I can't pray for the unrest in Nepal to be calmed, I can't pray for order in Afghanistan to be restored, I can't pray for Myanmar to be freed, I can't pray for Robert Mugabe to be struck down by lightning.
How do I pray for peace for war torn countries when whether I pray or not, it is God's intention for peace to reign in all the earth!
I can only pray for my willingness to hear and obey, to be ready to follow as God unfolds His will especially when it leads me to the valley of death.
Matthew 16:21-25 - From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.
Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. "Never, Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!"
Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.
We sometimes pray and expect God to follow our requests. But we are meant to follow Jesus. Sorry, I won't pray for the war in Gaza to stop. But I will pray that if and when I am to be used as an instrument of peace, I will obey and respond.
There will be disagreements to my opinion. There will be opinions that I am over-religious. I won't justify myself. That is God's brand of silence.
Labels: Musings