But partly also because I love my life here in London with all my heart. I love the time I spend alone in my room watching shows on my laptop; I love being in 52's kitchen chatting with the girls whenever they are around; I love having deeply personal conversations and praying together; I love walking with the cold air clinging to my skin; I love the church; I love playing on the grand piano in 52's lounge. I love everything here.
And so, I think a part of me just wants to hold everything I love close to my heart and not share it with anyone.
But now it's time to go.
I will be leaving for Singapore next Thursday for an indefinite period.
I wonder what some people might think, when I tell them how much I love London, how generally stress free it is, and comfortable life is, why on earth then would I think of leaving it?
Ah well, it wasn't an easy decision to come by, but the long story short is that God suggested it was in His interest I consider Singapore. I considered, cried, sulked, lamented, questioned, analysed, and then accepted. The Lord's plans for me is for my good and not for evil, plans to give me a future and hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
The last 4.5 months, my feelings have oscillated between deep heartache to excitement. But in my mind, I always pushed the thought of actually leaving at the back of my head, and tried getting by each day as normal like I would never leave. Now that today's my last day, there are boxes around filled with things to ship to Singapore, my tummy tightens everytime I think about what next Thursday will be like when I am at the airport about to leave London.
Sigh. There will be tears. Lots of them. Boo.
The last time I'll take this train home from Staines
Labels: Musings