Journey mercies

Singaporeans are... interesting.

I'm not yet quite sure how to appreciate them yet. I feel of the utmost opposite to them in so many way!

They don't trust easily, but when they do, they embrace you in a deep way.

I... am... not sure if I like that!

Maybe because I'm a Malaysian, warm and friendly, but will hit a limit after a while!

But no, it's also something personal about myself. I'm fairly independent and have an extrovert side which makes me enjoy and thrive in circulating amongst different dynamics of people. In church I am The Social Butterfly, always making an effort to speak with as many different people as possible.

Nothing annoys me more than sticking to a small clique of friends.

And I've notice that when Singaporeans embrace you as their own, it seems that you become their family outside their family and naturally expect you to spend all your time apart from family with them! How... bizzare to my Malaysian mind and adjusted-to-English mentality (won't get into this one for now)!

And here I am, in this Singaporean company, part of a small team. And this team enjoys going out for lunches everyday... together.

And part of this small church, which is not large enough to have different pockets of people dynamics.


S u f f o c a t i o n.


I feel an immediate muscle reflex coming, like I want to swat these people away from me to give me breathing space.

However, I am grateful for the insight the Lord gives on all this. And suggesting the need for me to adjust accordingly and learn how to breath in small spaces... and appreciate it.

In actual fact, it is not the Singaporeans who are a distrusting lot.

I am.

Because I don't like to allow people into my life lest I care for them and end up being hurt by them. Thus the habit of keeping people away at arm's length.

I am piqued at this new direction of events with the turn of season. It will be interesting to see what lessons the Lord has in store for me, and what kind of person I will look like by the time the Lord moves me to different pastures and sheep.