Journey mercies

Yesterday I had dinner with a Singaporean friend who's in Shanghai for training. Halfway during our dinner conversation he pointed out that people who change jobs maintain some elements of familiarity in their next job but I basically:

1. Changed geographical regions
2. Changed job roles (now venturing into operations which is uncharted territory)
3. I not only have to pick up a new language (Mandarin) but TWO (because I'll also be overlooking Korea which ideally should have some knowledge at least)
4. Have to adapt to two new cultures of working
5. Establish new networks

And he said he was impressed I still look very together and composed. I've a few other worries he doesn't know of in my bag too, but yes, I thought it was surprising I am as unfazed as I am as well.

You'll be amazed how much the favour of God can do when you give yourself to it.

The Lord had been gracious to speak to me in advance about it all anyway. Calling me a camel (He did), that carried a huge load of things with no one or thing to unload to. But that I should remember I am not an orphan child who does not have a divine Father to turn to for help. Seriously, camel?

Anyway. Here I am, in Shanghai, loving it by the way.

I'm moving to Shanghai in a few days time :)

The opportunity to live and work there came up very unexpectedly and despite it taking a few months to finalize, I was in disbelief that I should take it up, even up to the day the offer came.

I actually "pushed" away the offer 3 times, and each time they came back revising it to suit me. I'm not even all that qualified for this position!

They say if your interview stretches for a long time, it's good as the interviewer enjoyed chatting with you. In my final interview with the US boss, it only took 20 minutes and out of that I probably only spoke for less than 5 minutes. Probably my shortest interview ever. All I did was to ask one question and it was answered and the conversation came to an end soon after that. 10 minutes later my Shanghai boss called me back and said he didn't want to repeat exactly what his boss in US said, or I might get big-headed, but whatever I said to him, he absolutely loved me.

Now all this is what I call favour of the Lord!

There were 2 major reasons that cast doubts over this opportunity for me. First was language... I don't speak much Mandarin at all!! But He already spoke to me about this area since last October that He would be the one that helps in that. The second thing was... move? Again?? Each move gets a little more painful than the last as I accumulate more stuff in my life. I got too complacent in my flat in Singapore and I was honestly tempted to stay behind just to avoid all the moving.

Even now as my flat looks like it got robbed (movers are coming tomorrow), I am reminded every step of the way why it's so painful. But. I have to say, the Lord had already seen to every detail, especially to the ones He knew I would be most worried about.

As my packing started to look like it was under control, my mind fleeted to the next big worry and that was in finding an apartment in Shanghai quickly enough. I spoke today to my future colleague who I've not met, and he was very insistent about helping me all the way from when I arrive to settling down.

So the anxiety in my heart is settling bit by bit as I see how God has considered every single detail and saw to it even before my heart began to worry about it.

I feel like a dolphin these days, zooming through the waves with speed and occasionally jumping out into the air with joy, and learning to move with His children like a pack of dolphins. Dolphins move together as one and communicate together through sounds and movements (I know because I just watched a Korean variety show where the entertainers went in search of dolphins in Jeju and I'm now an authority on this subject).

Like a dolphin, I'm starting to learn how to move in a pack and it's starting to make me see how boring it is to go alone.

I found in my beloved Juliana in Malaysia a partner to trust and work with in the work of God. Our frequency is so similar we communicate in some ways just by looking into one another's eyes. Together, we are bolder to do things which we would not do flying solo and we have walked through the den of the enemy together.

Last week as Yin, The Pastor's Wife and I were together in Sabah for a workshop, we were asked by one of the locals to pray for her sister in the ICU. Initially we looked at each sheepishly, not knowing what to do really, but due to the urgency we forced ourselves to press in. And it is amazing how when you press in to seek God, He never fails to respond.

What a privilege to experience what we did. It built our faith like nothing has.

Today at prayer meeting we had only 4 of us, the smallest ever. But as we moved into prayer Yin and I kept an eye on each other, watching for each other's flow, and suddenly, we were moving and accelerating one another in a way we had never done before. By the end of the 2 hours, both of us who are always the ones grumbling at how late the group starts and end and always lethargic were bright eyed and amazed at how deep we could go.

Partnership, synergy and having the same vision for God has never meant so much to us as now.

I joined the Transformation Camps team (a group of East Malaysians organizing camps for East Malaysian youths to minister to them and to build their faith) for the third time last weekend in Ipoh. It was less dramatic than the last two, but still oh so enjoyable because everyone experienced God.

Following these two pastors is hard on the body though. We slept on average 3 hours a night because of their late night suppers and some practices we had.

Things are moving at the speed of lightning, with so many things learnt, too much to do that I wish I could neatly encapsulate all the thoughts whirling in my head and heart. I envy the East Malaysians. They live and share a time when the memories they are creating together in TCamps is so rich it will last them a lifetime. I envy them for being in the midst of a time of strong spiritual revival.

I am somewhat only an "associate member" to them and I am but a witness to their work. I join them on the camps and I clearly am not part of the team of facilitators comprising mainly of university students. It feels even more awkward when a few of them would nod their head respectfully towards me and greet me as, "Sis."

They would have probably called me Aunty if there was not already a group of older women who take on that status and I'm just slightly younger than them. =/

They have a strong team of worship leaders who I am in perpetual awe of every camp I go to. Charismatic, energetic, in tune with one another and with the pastors and also experienced to watch for cues in the spiritual atmosphere and respond quickly when it comes. What a joy to work with a team like that. Pastor P and The Pastor are so in sync with one another that it feels like they preach as one, and every time they preach, I feel completely absorbed with the message.

Their style of preaching makes me feel like they pound continuously at the door of the hearts of the people. And they keep pounding until they sense in the spiritual realm the door is ajar and when it is, they activate the worship team and intercession team to move in to force the door to fling wide open to God.

And when it does, and the Spirit moves to fill the crevices of the hearts, oh how beautiful the Lord evidently becomes! I can already feel a song of praise and worship bubble from deep within my stomach to declare the beautiful glory of Christ!

Lately, my dreams seem to tell me that I'm letting go things more easily and so not getting as anxious as I used to get of mistakes and failures.

I used to have dreams of unfinished assignments or failing exams which would cause a great deal of anxiousness in me. Lately my dreams were facing such kind of situations but devoid of anxiousness, just a very calm face it as it is.

This is a pleasant change that has come about, since it wasn't so long ago that I cringed at The Pastor's encouragement for me to push myself more in the area of maturity even if I make mistakes. I'm sure this change doesn't come from me. I am too far indebted to The Pastor and The Wife for their prayers, patience and holy kick-in-the-butts to come this far and claim credit on my own.

Nowadays, I do get somewhat annoyed with people who beleaguer over a matter with more than 3 sentences.

It's ok to ask once to understand why a situation has occurred but that takes only one sentence. Maybe another sentence or two to clarify. But when they go on to angrily beleaguer over it, "Why didn't you do this instead? Why couldn't you have checked on this instead?" it really raises my hackles.

The situation is as such, just roll with it.

In my problematic ex-job where mistakes were an everyday occurence (not necessarily my own), I found that this strategy was by far the least stressful way of dealing with problems. It was a challenge trying to teach certain individuals this method though because if they had, my stress levels would be much lower than they were.

But The Pastor really is my teacher in many things. Being in Singapore and observing how he lives has been an important highlight to me. He rarely gets ruffled by things as he responds to each conversation, person, reaction, change with a keen alertness to the Holy Spirit's movements. An unexpected good can come out by responding to changes, so he never treats any change negatively, even if it can be an inconvenience.



This I held on to for dear life in some of my most difficult periods. This has made all the difference in my life.