Sunday, December 26, 2010
The day after Christmas
I didn't do anything for Christmas except for cleaning the apartment. I wanted to be disconnected from my emotions because I feared I would miss London fiercely.
It was only the day after I had the urge to give a call to London to wish Merry Christmas. I decided to call Penny Choo-Choo who, bless her, was late for service so I managed to catch her just before she was going into church.
I managed to say a quick hello to Paul The Pastor, and how I miss the Welsh accent!
Later, I called my favourite English family, but poor timing, Jess L was driving, and Naomi was asleep. :(
But it was so sweet of Jess, the moment she knew it was me calling she starting singing Amazing Grace, the funky version which I taught her and the girls earlier this year. Sweet memories. It was good hearing David's voice too, and I felt incredibly blessed because of the friendship that I have with all of them, as individuals and as a family. I spent Christmas Day with them and their extended family last year, so I miss them doubly more!
How I truly miss them. I am looking forward to heaven!
IPC Christmas service 2009. Penny Choo-Choo on the bottom left! When Penny first arrived in IPC, everyone kept asking her if she met me (because she's a fellow Malaysian) and everyone kept asking me if I had met her. I initially felt a surge of jealousy because I wanted to be the only Malaysian in church (and be special). But within the first 10 min of meeting her I loved her and have loved her more and more since then.
Paul The Pastor holding little Oscar.
My ex-flatmates.
With my favourite girl #1, Naomi. I couldn't find a better picture on my current harddisk.
John Dugan who is celebrating Christmas this year with the Lord.
Camera-shy Hannah
The L's fire place.
Labels: Church tales
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Christmas is coming!
It's the month I've been dreading the most since moving to Singapore!
I love Christmas in London! It's my favourite time of the year!
It's the time where the church has its annual "Women's Christmas Party" and the "Men's Christmas Gathering (supposed to be more manly I guess!)". It's when the church is most busy because it's the season for people to remember how the momentous event the Lord's glory came to earth.
It's the prime time that gives God's people opportunity to share with non-believers who Christ is. So it is the most exciting time to see God's people bustling about.
But more importantly, it's the time to see the church decorations go up, though I wonder what it'll be like this year since creative extraordinaires May and Sara is no longer with IPC to do their magic. So in some ways, I'm glad I don't have another thing to miss!
It's the time where IPC will have its traditional Christmas Eve service in the cosy lil chapel where it's filled to the brim with people who come to church only during Christmas service.
I'll miss the excitement of bundling myself up as warmly as possible and be in church exceptionally early to make sure I get a seat right up the front because we always run out of space. I miss seeing the excited faces, seeing David, Naomi and Hannah L with all the accomplished musicians and tuning up their instruments. And I'll miss seeing the excited children's face squeezing up the front and familiar and new faces filling out the seats.
I'll miss seeing Paul L restlessly moving about as he preps himself to lead the service. And I'll miss not being able to read the Bible passage during the service. Every year since I joined IPC, I had always been one of the Bible readers for the Christmas Eve service!
I can't lead in prayer well at the pulpit at all during service, but I've found out there's a certain something about reading aloud Bible passages to the congregation. It's as if something about the passage grips my stomach and I feel like my eyes want to blaze brightly and I want to read it as if the voice of the writer was my own.
How I miss the people in IPC but how excited I am to be in Singapore. I see the faces in church here and I can't help feeling excited about the lives that are in the process of change!
How many of these children will one day stand before many more congregations and be gripped by the Word of God and feel the fire of the Lord's glory blaze in their souls?
How many more people through these lives today come to know the Lord and know the joy His salvation?
And how many more lives will I continue looking forward to meet in the grand reunion we will have in the new kingdom of heaven and earth?
I will always love and miss IPC, but it is because of them in IPC I have learnt the depth of love we can have as a body of Christ, and they have given me the courage to look boldly forward to build and edify others.
Sometimes it is at the tip of my tongue to say how I miss IPC and wish I could be back with them. But to do that, to look backwards will only be a disservice to them and all the love they have poured into me.
Labels: Church tales
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The lambs in the wild
So one of my ex-housemates in London, who now lives in Scotland, had a very scary moment when her new husband was admitted into hospital for pneumonia.
Sara... how I love Sara!
She's a talkative Italian where if you asked her one small question, she might very well start her answer with a story from when she was a child leading all the way up to her adulthood just to answer a very small question!
She was one of the very very few who I could get to a very deep and raw level of soul-baring. We shed tears a few times in some of our most vulnerable moments.
The day the Lord revealed I would leave London for Singapore, I was shaken and close to tears the whole day. Leaving London was always at the back of my head, but the moment the realisation of that reality hit me, it did not feel good. But I did try to fight off the dismay in me the whole day through reason and fact.
By the end of the day when I finally got back to 52, I thought I had my feelings under composure. The first person I saw in the kitchen, as I always do, was Sara and I tried to tell her nonchalantly and as matter-of-factly as I could of what I had learnt.
But I burst out crying immediately the moment I started telling Sara. I didn't even know then how I would get to Singapore, and I felt I was already packing up to leave! Sara always seemed to stand before me bare to the core of her soul and that just forces me to strip my own self-protecting layers away in reaction. That is the kind of affect Sara has over me.
Knowing some of the hurts from her own past, the news of her husband ill sank straight down to my stomach when I heard it.
I just had to give Sara a call tonight. I just had to. And to hear her voice, to hear the tired but firm strength in her voice, it was so good. It was a relief to hear that her husband will be discharged from the hospital. But after giving me as much news as she could in a short time, she could still turn her eyes away from her own situation to ask me how I was.
And it's funny, it's a phone conversation across a great span of distance, but it still felt as if she was still looking into my soul as she did standing 3 feet away from me in 52's kitchen. And I told her in as much words as possible that Singapore's great, and then proceeded to cry.
I think it was that little place of refuge in London that all of us hurting souls had somehow found ourselves converged to shelter from the battering storm, that I was missing. That moment where we learnt to heal in that shared moment of vulnerability, trusting in one another as we sheltered under the love of the Father.
And I missed that. How I miss that fellowship. That sharing of hurt, joy, fears and hopes with absolutely no pretense, no wariness or guards put up around oneself.
Before we hung up she told me she loved me and I her. One lamb stuck in the wild of the cold to the other lamb stuck in the tropical wild.
Labels: Church tales, Friends, Travels
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Attempted Setup #2
So another church member, Jx4, told me the other day she was thinking of introducing her brother-in-law to me, and our pastor had encouraged her to do so. In fact, he told her, set it up for them to meet but don't let her (as in me) know that he would also come along and sit in for it.
-____-"""
As I chatted with Jx4 and K in the bus on the way home, Jx4 was telling me about her b-in-law, and though I didn't want to be so quick in writing people off just by hearing one or two things about them, I was honestly feeling uncomfortable with what I was hearing.
Then K saved me by wisely pointing out that she didn't think it was a good idea because the b-in-law needs to find his own journey of healing, independent of people. For me, being involved in such a circumstance might only slow me down in my own journey which is on a different track from that.
Yay for wisdom. Boo for kpc* pastors.
*Busybody
Labels: Church tales
Friday, November 19, 2010
My edifying church leader
During a phone conversation with Bro O, he asked me about the Worship Leader K wanted to
set me up with. I was like n
aaawww don't think it'll happen and he asked
whhyyyy.
So I told him the reasons.
And then he responded with a suspiciously wheedling tone. Just try, you never know. He's a Wooorship leeader you knowww...
He kept nagging me about at least going to the church service to watch him from afar and not write it off so quickly, until I gave in and said Fine! Fine! I'll go to the service at least ok!?
And then he said, "Cheh! You think he will necessary fall for you ah?! Please lahhh... how you know he will even be interested in you in the first place!? Don't be so full of yourself can or not?!!!"
-_____-"""
"Oi!!! First you nag me about going to meet this guy and now you're trampling all over me?!?"
"Hahahaha... yeah, I must bring you back to reality a bit..." And he cackled away.
Honestly. Of all the types of church pastors out there, we end up with a crazy one.
Labels: Church tales
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Attempted Setup #1
So a church member recently wanted to set me up with someone from her boyfriend's church. And she was describing him to me:
K: He's a worship leader in church...
Me: Hmm... (yeah, no, not a selling point to me)
K: He plays the guitar and sings really well!
Me: Nnnhh... (well, nice to know, but again, not something I look for in a guy)
K: He's 35 and still single but it's not because there's anything wrong with him. He's got loads of girls interested in him.
Me: Mmm... (ok, at least he's single)
K: Oh oh... and the best part is! He loves his mother a lot!! He accompanies her everywhere!!! *Looks expectantly at me*
Me: Yeah?No.
And with that, he was written off.
I have loads of respect for men who love their moms, and I think it's important and if I've got a son, I want him to love me loads too. But I'm opinionated; I can be headstrong and if I'm really convinced with something, I'll stick to my guns. But I'm also soft-hearted and I believe in creating a win-win situation as much as I can without being stupidly stubborn.
The picture of this chap K took made me feel that he was a gentle and caring man. And no offense to Singaporean men, but to date, the impression I get of them is that they have an inherent culture of conformity. Individuality and rebelliousness is not appreciated.
These days I avoid female power plays as much as I can. Too much energy wasted trying to manage women who feel they should be in the alpha position. And so a gentle man whose mother is used to having his full attention is not something I want to go near. What more a gentle man who is used to accepting established authority.
Of course I can't know everything just by a short description and a picture. There is of course more to my thoughts than just this behind my utter conviction that this guy is not the one I'm waiting for.
Guess I'll just keep waiting!
Labels: Church tales, Friends
Monday, November 15, 2010
Our reverent church leader
I've known my pastor/godfather Bro O for 10 years now.
While I always describe him to friends as the one person who is the single strongest influence over my walk with God, they always inadvertently conjure up a picture of someone who is stately and quietly commanding; naturally inspiring respect and when he speaks, it is firm, gentle and deeply intuitive.
When I convinced a friend of mine to meet up with him in Malaysia while I was in London, she asked me how she would know who this Bro O was.
I told her...
"Watch out for a Cina apek (Chinese uncle-ish person) who's a bit round, big nose, wild hair, big spectacles, blinking owl-like eyes and a loud mad laughter."
She was a little taken aback by my description but went with it. When she finally met him, she said my description fitted him perfectly.
Sometimes his jokes gets so lame, I cannot help but cover my face with the pillow during church service and moan inwardly. At which point everyone else snickers because I have the lowest tolerance for his lame jokes in the group.
It is fun though having him as a church pastor. He livens things up considerably when he's around and not travelling across Malaysia. He called me up after service 2 weeks ago and I was wondering why, since it was pretty late already. After checking with me on some church matters he then prodded me and asked me if the fledging couple from our church who were walking in front of me and YYee on the way home were holding hands.
I think I accused him of being a big old gossip at some point. At which he cackled. Yes, cackled is the word.
-.-
So yes, they did. And he declared loudly, "I knew it!!!! I saw them as we drove past you guys but Irene was driving too fast!!!!! I wanted to wind down the window and shout at them!!!!!"
I slapped my forehead at that point.
"Bro O!!!!!!! You're our pastor!!!!! Can you behave yourself please?!?!"
And he continued cackling away.
When I told the girl of the fledging couple that story the following week, her face went red and she muttered that she was glad he didn't or she would have murdered him. Hehe.
Like I said, he livens things up considerably for the rest of us.
Labels: Church tales
Monday, September 27, 2010
5 months in Singapore
I'm crankier than I usually am, and also more impatient than usual as work intensifies. I put in a lot more energy these days into being patient at work and to maintain my cool or to push back at stress.
But by the time work ends, with the greater part of my energy spent, I have little energy to be patient with everything else.
Sometimes I get really impatient with myself as well. Sometimes I catch myself with high expectations over myself and have to remind myself that I've not even been in Singapore for 6 months.
Celebrating Irene's (just recently joined the Church) birthday
With surprisingly yummy food from the local supermarket
The cutest distraction of the church, Na Na, with her nanny. Everyone just wants to hold and cuddle her.
Labels: Church tales
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Ana
This is Ana, my lil' godsister.
She is a star.
She's intelligent, speaks quite adult-ish despite only being 4 years old, because she's usually surrounded by adults.
She's got a really good memory, as her father will always remind me, especially when it comes to memorising Bible verses, to make me feel deep shame of myself (he didn't achieve his objective though, because I have no shame). She also remembers each adult she meets even despite a lengthy time lapse between the first time she met them to the next.
She has a really strong sense of justice and she will not brook any perceived unjust, unfriendly and un-nice word or action said against her or anyone she considers her friends.
She's one of my biggest joy and blessing in Singapore! Every weekend when I meet her at church, she always lights up my day. Although, we did make her cry last Friday night because the adults were too interested to talk to one another and no one wanted to play with her.
It reminded me of Hannah L who used to warn me not to do any boring adult talk!
Labels: Church tales, Friends
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Kids
I think of my church in London (IPC) a great deal as they have been a model Church in the love they have shared amongst one another and for anyone and everyone that touches the members of the church in any way; through joining the services, or having met a member on the streets.
Despite having moved to Singapore for a few months now, I still feel very much remembered and loved by the church. Sometimes I think they miss me more than I do them!
But the ones I truly miss... are the kids! I feel more heavily the regret of not being able to watch them grow up, and knowing that by now the toddlers would have forgotten that they once smiled readily at me when I see them during the weekends.
Pastor Paul and Claire L's baby Noah opening his birthday present from me. This was during my farewell party and after I spent an hour crying. No one could coax me out of my tearful state until Claire sent Noah to say hi to me.
I've been attending a small, nameless church in Singapore and I am so glad that there are children within the church! When I first met JT and her four kids, it was a challenge to get them to warm up to me because of the family history and the kind of temperament the family has.
But after a few weeks of regularly meeting this family and praying over them, the ice is beginning to thaw at an accelerated pace. The most clingy toddler is now willing to allow other adults other than his mother to hold him. And today he willingly climbed up my lap to play with me.
The 9 year old ADHD child has been hungrily seeking more and more affirmation from the church and it is nice to see the edge of her rebellious streak softening just ever so slightly.
The independent and aloof 1 year old baby girl who only allowed the maid to take care of her has surprisingly been quite clingy to me today - very quick to extend her arms to me to carry her. She even hit the pastor and gave him a glare when he was talking to me and keeping my attention away from her.
Today, despite having 4 adults taking care of 3 kids while their mother had some time off to have Bible study, some of us were feeling exhausted by the time we called it a day. The best part about kids is undoubtedly the part when you can nudge them towards their parents and say, "Time to go home!!! Bye!!!"
Labels: Church tales, Friends
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Unemployed
In Singapore, waiting to be given my start dates at work. In the meantime, I
have to learn to enjoy my break from work. Or rather, learn to spend money without being stricken by sense of poverty just because I don't have a source of income replacing money spent.
I think of London occasionally and wistfully muse to myself of what life would be like if the Lord decided the best would be for me to remain there. But even so, I can't imagine life beyond what it was.
It is good, to be where I am right now, even amidst the state of "unemployment". Certainly learning the discipline of delayed gratification.
It's only a shame that I would not be able to enjoy the English summer skies for a third year.
One spring Sunday afternoon in 52. Games after lunch. I was not part of this group as I was with another group of people in Paul and Claire's home for lunch. I came home in time to take a few pictures.
Labels: Church tales, Friends, Musings
Aiya, you will always be the ORIGINAL #1 Malaysian at IPC. =)
Lovely to hear from you, I think the lucky few who got to speak to you today have been especially blessed.
And now you have to stop faffing around the flat and go out. and see people. but avoid the mass sale shopping!
Lots of love and big hugs,
px
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:47 AM
Don't worry Penny, grandma and aunt is around for the next few days, and by the time they leave it'll be time for me to head back to Malaysia. And then a manic new year will start! So I'm glad I had Christmas day all to myself!! Don't know when I'll have a decent quiet day to myself after that. *HUGS*
Posted by
ee |
9:04 AM